This week as I have been preparing to preach from Paul’s words about our faith and sexuality in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, I was reminded of a journal entry I wrote to Amy (my then girlfriend and now wife) on a long flight home:
November 14, 2009
Oneness.
Perhaps oneness is what I’ve begun to sense for the first time fully with you. It’s a oneness that goes far deeper than lists of “desirable characteristics” or even sexual intimacy (as far as I can tell). It’s an “at-rest-ness”–the feeling with you that I am fully with a unique, beautiful, other soul yet at the same time I am as comfortable as I am with myself.
Maybe that doesn’t make sense. Maybe it would be something like a man who grafts together two trees that begin to draw life from the same root and grow together and then in autumn one turns fiery red like a maple and the other a deep yellow like a maple.
I don’t know if that works with trees, but I’m beginning to suspect it’s possible with people.
Our flight is ahead of schedule and we’ve got no checked bags. I hope you are able to be at the top of the escalator at the airport. I’ve run it through my head a hundred times. Even last night I dreamed of hugging you. That’s it–just hugging and being with you.
I have been asking the Lord to tear open my heart with affection if you are the one I am to marry. Perhaps this is what it feels like. Perhaps we must be torn open to find oneness.
I know… Those words are pretty sentimental compared to what we normally write in this space. But I believe they get at the heart of what Paul is trying to teach the Church. He is trying to show us that much deeper than rules and prohibitions is a stunning oneness with God and with one another that wrenches our experience of love and sexuality out of the world’s hands and places it beautifully within God’s great story for all of creation.
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(Weekly Community Group Discussion Guide)
Date: September 13, 2015 // Title: Holy Wholeness, Part 2
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20
SERMON REVIEW 5-10 minutes
ARRIVAL / SOCIAL TIME 15-20 minutes
Spend the first fifteen minutes or so of your time together catching up and socializing with one another.
SERMON REVIEW 5-10 minutes
This week we continued our discussion of Holy Wholeness by hearing Paul’s words to the Corinthian church regarding the power of sex and sexuality and its implications for every area of our lives. To say it simply, according to Paul, sex is never just sex. As Jon pointedly expressed to us this week, sex involves the whole person. To see sex for what it is supposed to be in our lives we need to see it through the lens of the resurrection, our relationship to Jesus, the residency of the Holy Spirit and the power of redemption. Resurrection reminds us that what we do with our bodies affects the future. Relationship to Jesus as his body reminds us that what we do with our bodies impacts Him. Residency with the Holy Spirit reminds us of the nobility that our bodies were created for. And, finally, redemption reminds us that we have been bought with a price and what we do is not merely up to us— and anything we have done can be redeemed.
THE MAIN THOUGHT: (keep this in mind as you facilitate discussion)
“Sex is more than just sex.”
SEE IT – Questions 10–15 minutes
Picture: When you initially think about God and sex, what do you think of? If someone asked you what God thinks about sex, what thoughts initially come to your mind? How were the Corinthians thinking about God and sex? What do the words in 1 Corinthians 6, where the Corinthians are saying, “everything is permissible” and “the stomach for food and food for the stomach,” say about their attitude toward God and sex? Do you see this same attitude in our culture today? How?
Mirror: Jon gave some incredible thoughts about the way resurrection, relationship, residence and redemption should affect the way we think about God and sex (read the sermon overview for review). Which of these “R” words challenged you most? Which one of these words was most hopeful for you? Which image that Jon used (using your body as a rental car or formal living room) impacted you most? Why?
Window: How can you glorify God in your sex life? What one change will you ask the Holy Spirit to help you make in your sex life to make this more of a reality?
BE IT – Practice
Change UP // Three-Dimensional Sex
This week Jon referred to Dr. Rosenau (the author of A Celebration of Sex) and his view of Three-Diimensional Sex. These three dimensions include: (1) Our bodies, (2) Our minds, souls and will and (3) Our relationship with God. Take some time to re-read Genesis 2:4–25 together; as you re-read it make a list around each of the three dimensions and what Genesis 2 has to say to each dimension.
Change IN // Future Focus (Define the Relationship)
Divide your group into the different households that are represented. Those that are married should work together as couples and those that are single should do this exercise personally. Tell the group that you are going to give them a pretty challenging exercise to do in the next ten minutes and that you don’t want them to be caught up in getting everything perfect but that you just want to get their “blink.” Then tell each person or couple that they have ten minutes to write out, in fifty words or less, what they hope their future marriage will look like—or for those who might choose not to get married, what life without marriage might look like relationally. After ten minutes has passed, have each person or couple read their words to the group. Commit together to help this future be realized.
Change OUT // Hope in Halloween
Start planning for Halloween. Halloween is one of the most practical and potentially impactful opportunities for missional living. And even though, like our sexuality, it might have been misused in lots of different ways, it is also a great opportunity to be in our communities as a community. Think together about how your group might use Halloween to start conversations with your group in your community. Here are a couple ideas to get you started: create a chili or soup station in your driveway (to give to adults walking their children around), create a drink station, trick or treat as a group and be open to meeting new people, etc.
CLOSING PRAYER 5 minutes
Take a few minutes to gather any prayer requests and pray for each other to SEE IT and BE IT this week.